How To Forgive When We Can't Forget

Is that even possible? To forgive someone when you can't forget the horrible thing they did. Yes, actually it is.

My first hubby was physically abusive (hit, kicked, pulled my hair, threw me down stairs, raped me, trapped me in rooms, kidnapped me, burnt me with lit cigarettes, and he had numerous affairs and left me for my older married sister who was separated from her husband). Yes, it hurt! BAD! I thought worse than any pain I could ever feel. He was my first love. The only one I completely trusted. Only to be hurt and rejected like all the others.

My second hubby seemed to be the perfect gentlemen while we were dating. He opened doors for me, brought me flowers, and told me I was the most beautiful woman in the world. However, when he proposed to me, I felt this strong urge (I now Know as the Holy Spirit) telling me not to marry him. I married him, knowing God could and would forgive me and he did. But the pain I endured the next 7 years was a hundred times worse than the beatings I withstood in my first marriage. Not only was my husband addicted to pornography and had an affair, but he also molested our 3 children.

After that marriage I was totally devastated and didn't feel as though I could trust anyone, let alone forgive all the men that had hurt me since I was a little girl. Yet, because I held onto all that pain and bitterness and wouldn't let go, they weren't the ones hurting; I was.

When God tells us to forgive or we will not be forgiven, it's for our own good. With bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness in our heart, we will not have peace or joy. The joy of the Lord is our strength and peace brings health to our mind.

God totally wants us to be healthy. He understands we have feelings. But we also have a choice. We don't have to "feel" in our hearts like forgiving someone, we just have to make the choice to do it. Forgiveness isn't a feeling, it's an action. We simply say, "I forgive you. I may not like what you did to me or my children, and I'm not going to continue to let you hurt or abuse us. But I forgive you."

Just saying those three simple words "I Forgive You" releases us from a bitter spirit and allows us to be filled with the Holy Spirit. It worked for me and I know it will work for you.

God's ways are so simple. It's us who always tries to complicate everything. He knows we may never forget what happened to us, yet he also knows that with His Holy Spirit's power we can forgive and be free! Take Joseph in Genesis 36:25-37:14 for example. Even though his brothers tried to kill him and sold him into slavery, he forgave them, even before they asked him too!

So why not say: I forgive you to everyone who has hurt you and be set free today. It only takes a second. And you'll have a lifetime of joy and peace!